The Solemnity of Mother’s Day

I thought it might be a good time to invite a little retrospective on last Sunday. In the United States, on the secular calendar, it was Mother’s Day. And in many of the dioceses of the United States (though not all) it was Ascension on the liturgical calendar, a major feast of the Church year. In some dioceses on the other hand, we celebrated the Seventh Sunday of Easter.  The gospel reading was that famous passage from the farewell discourse of St. John’s gospel, in which Jesus prays that his disciples may all be one. There was also the dramatic story of the stoning of Stephen. Mother’s Day, Ascension, Christian unity, martyrdom… How did the different thematic foci play out in your parish liturgy?

From my tongue-in-cheek reference to “the solemnity of Mother’s Day” in the title of this post, you already know or suspect that I think the secular celebration is often overblown. So let me begin by saying I’m all in favor of Mother’s Day. I think it’s a sound pastoral practice to warmly acknowledge Mother’s Day in church. The Book of Blessings supplies us with prayers. I have no problem at all with using them. Yet I wonder whether the right balance is always struck in our celebrations. Do the mysteries of faith continue to stand at the center of all we do, or do we fall into a Hallmark card piety because it’s easy, and “that’s what people want.”

At my parish yesterday, the songleader wished us a happy Mother’s Day. The priest wished us a happy Mother’s Day and made some remarks on that subject as the celebration began. He preached on unity, but general thoughts on Mother’s Day began and ended his homily. We prayed for mothers in the intentions. The songleader announced a hymn to Mary at the preparation of the altar and “dedicated” it to all mothers. Mothers were invited up front for a blessing at the end of Mass. More remarks about motherhood, from the priest, then followed, before the final blessing. In short, there was a lot of focus on Mother’s Day.

They meant well, and I’m sure it was kindly received. But something was missing, it seemed to me. There was very little paschal mystery in any of this. That we love our mothers and they work hard, this came up. That the vocation to Christian motherhood is linked to the Passion and Resurrection of Jesus and to our common call to discipleship did not. The notion that the mystery of Jesus somehow touches and transforms our cultural inheritance didn’t really come up either. Is that because… it doesn’t?

I believe there are sound pastoral reasons why vocation, discipleship, Passion, Resurrection, and transformation need to come up. This is our faith. This is what sustains Christian mothers on their journey, and what links us all. I’ve known women who for various reasons couldn’t have children, and very much wanted to, who feel the pain of loss or exclusion on this day. I’ve known mothers whose experience is one of carrying a heavy cross as their children struggle with addictions or illnesses or loss of faith. Thanks or congratulations are nice, but they are in this for bigger stakes. The joyful and close-knit families are there along with ones who are broken and sorrowful. What is big enough to hold all of these varied experiences together? The dying and rising of the Lord, nothing less.

So here is my question. What do you think is the right balance, and was it achieved in your parish this past Sunday?

 

Rita Ferrone

Rita Ferrone is an award-winning writer and frequent speaker on issues of liturgy and church renewal in the Roman Catholic tradition. She is currently a contributing writer and columnist for Commonweal magazine and an independent scholar. The author of several books about liturgy, she is most widely known for her commentary on Sacrosanctum Concilium (Liturgy: Sacrosanctum Concilium, Paulist Press). Her most recent book, Pastoral Guide to Pope Francis’s Desiderio Desideravi, was published by Liturgical Press.

Posted

in

, ,

by

Rita Ferrone

Tags:

, , , ,

Comments

28 responses to “The Solemnity of Mother’s Day”

  1. Fritz Bauerschmidt

    We had a mention of Mother’s Day at the beginning, a petition for mothers in the Prayer of the Faithful (including mention of mothers who had lost children, which was particularly moving since the woman who had composed and was leading the prayers had lost a child in the past year), an ad-libbed blessing of mothers at the end, and “God of Eve and God of Mary” as the final hymn.

    On the whole, a pretty good job of acknowledging the secular celebration without letting it overshadow the solemnity. I could have happily missed out the final hymn, however this is more for aesthetic/theological reasons concerning this particular hymn than anything about Mother’s Day per se.

    Reply
  2. Gordon E. Trruitt

    We added to the mix at our parish by having first sacramental communion at the major Sunday Masses. (Usually on Saturday in the past, they were moved this year because one of the staff was ordained to the diaconate on Saturday.) The priest at the noon Mass did a very good job of balancing all of this and focusing on the meaning of the Ascension (especially incorporation of humanity into the Triune Godhead).

    Reply
  3. Alan Hommerding

    An intercession for Mother’s Day (including bereaved mothers and gratitude for those who had been like mothers in our lives), a blessing of Mothers after communion, one of the choral pieces a setting of the Easter Marian text “Regina Caeli, Laetare” – seems to satisfy everyone in my experience. Everything else, including the preaching, Ascension.
    Some years Mother’s Day also lands on Pentecost; following the same general principle seems to work, plus lots of feminine imagery for the Spirit (giving birth to the Church, etc.).

    Reply
  4. Austin Fleming

    It was the Seventh Sunday of Easter here in the Archdiocese of Boston and we celebrated First Communion at two of our four liturgies. At all masses there was a one line intercession for mothers (living and deceased) and before the final blessing we prayed the blessing for mothers from the Book of Blessings, for which all mothers were invited to stand. Mothers’ Day did not influence our sung prayer. After all the masses, folks from our Service and Justice Commission were at the doors selling individual long-stemmed roses to support a local home for teen mothers.

    Reply
  5. Christian Cosas

    At our parish, all of the music during the liturgy was Ascension related. We sang Tony Alonso’s “Litany of Mary” for a prelude, there was an intercession for mothers, and our priests did a blessing on mothers following the Prayer after Communion. A couple of our priests dropped a line or two about their moms in their homilies, but neither time felt out of place or forced. Carnations were available for a dollar after Mass. Otherwise, Ascension was Ascension and not “Mother’s Day and oh by the way Ascension.” I thought that was a decent balance.

    Reply
  6. Fr. Allan J. McDonald

    At our principal Mass each Mother’s Day, we have as a prelude to the Mass the Crowning of the Blessed Mother’s statue, with children bringing up flowers and a child actually placing a crown of flowers on the statue of the Blessed Mother as a Marian Devotional hymn was sung. The Mass itself was all Ascension except for the Universal Prayer that included a petition for all mothers living and deceased. The Solemn Blessing at the end of Mass was taken from the Book of Blessings for Mother’s Day and prayed over the entire assembly. The recessional was an English version of “Regina Coeli” “Be Joyful Mary, Heavenly Queen…”

    Reply
  7. Todd Flowerday

    Forgot to include in the prayers of the faithful, but the priest did a homily mention and a blessing at the end, in which he mentioned “grandmothers, great-grandmothers, aunts, godmothers, and other women of import.”

    One music group asked if they could “do a Marian song,” and they chose the Magnificat.

    Reply
    1. Paul Inwood

      @Todd Flowerday – comment #7:

      I think that if one is going to sing a Magnificat around this time, then it ought to be a setting such as Peter Jones’s setting with its ostinato refrain “The Almighty works marvels for me: holy his name, holy his name.” That makes it more about God than about Mary.

      Reply
      1. Alan Hommerding

        @Paul Inwood – comment #12:
        I’m trying to think of any Magnificat setting that I know – strophic version, with or without refrain – that even names Mary.
        They’re all focused on God . . . I thought it was a sign of some good formative work having been done that when the musicians were asked for a “Marian” song they came up with the Magnificat, Marian in that she sang it in praise to God’s saving power.

      2. Karl Liam Saur

        @Alan Hommerding – comment #13:
        Exactly.

  8. Karl Liam Saur

    In a general intercession for the many kinds of mothers, one might also think to include spiritual mothers and those who have longed for motherhood.

    Reply
  9. Jim Pauwels

    In a tradition at our parish that has been going on as long as I’ve been there (20+ years), the deacons always preach on Father’s Day. (And on feast of the Holy Family, for that matter). And in the last couple of years, our pastor has had the wives of the deacons offer an extended reflection during the homily on Mother’s Day. Inasmuch as they are moms and it is Mother’s Day, they do tend to reflect on motherhood, their faith journey, the Ascension (this year, anyway), and whatever else seems timely and important to them.

    I’m okay with it; some fellow said once that a preacher should preach with a bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other, and our practice seems to be in that spirit. And although I’m only in church if it happens to fall on a Sunday, it wouldn’t surprise me to learn that preachers talk about Independence Day on July 4th, too :-).

    I will say, though, that having the deacons preach *every* Father’s Day and, now, the deacons’ wives reflect *every* Mother’s Day, sets up a self-fulfilling prophecy as to what the topic of preaching is to be.

    Reply
  10. Jim Pauwels

    “There was very little paschal mystery in any of this. That we love our mothers and they work hard, this came up. That the vocation to Christian motherhood is linked to the Passion and Resurrection of Jesus and to our common call to discipleship did not. The notion that the mystery of Jesus somehow touches and transforms our cultural inheritance didn’t really come up either.”

    Rita – it’s true that it may not have come up in the hymns or the homily or the universal prayer. But if you sang the Gloria and prayed a Eucharistic Prayer and observed the silences, it may be that these things “came up” in a sense, and/or that there were opportunities for attendees to make the connections?

    Reply
  11. Linda Reid

    We had a petition in the General Intercessions for all mothers, both physical a spiritual. The mass intention was offered for all of our mothers who are deceased and the blessing for all mothers at the end of mass included mothers who had lost a child, women who are pregnant, women who long for motherhood and and all who have nurtured like a mother. The music was all for the 7th Sunday of Easter (as it is still celebrated here in Providence).
    After the liturgy, we had a brief service, reciting the litany of the Blessed Mother, Prayers of petition and a crowning of Mary’s statue. We sang Immaculate Mary.

    Reply
  12. Karl Liam Saur

    Btw, as my schedule of travel to visit and return from my parents this weekend (mother turned 89 as well), I had to attend a Sunday evening Mass in a local parish after I returned home.

    The priest (new to this parish, which is without a pastor for now and its administrator is also ill) announced he would deliver a doctrinal homily, about Holy Mother Church, to honor Mother’s Day. As in Outside The Church There is No Salvation.

    Reply
  13. Fran Rossi Szpylczyn

    We were celebrating the 6th Sunday of Easter here, but with First Eucharist. There was not too much Mother’s Day, just an intention for all the women who are mothers in our lives, living and deceased.

    At the parish where I work however, we do give out Mother’s Day prayer cards. This year I designed and ordered bookmarks instead. Another difference is that instead of calling all mothers up to the altar or asking them to stand, the priest mentioned mothers of all kinds, and said that the cards would be available at all doors after mass. That was due to some feedback that there was too much emphasis – this seemed to strike a better, and more liturgically correct – balance.

    Reply
  14. Brendan Kelleher svd

    Even given that May is “Mary’s Month” – a celebration rooted in traditonal popular piety and not part of the Liturgical Calendar of the Church, using that popular tradition or the relatively new – greeting card industry etc promotion – custom as a way of avoiding, getting around celebrating the Solemnity of the Ascension, should not be commended or condoned in anyway. I preached on the mystery of the Ascension, and there was a Marian hymn at the recessional. Mother’s Day got a passing mention in the Prayers of the Faithful. This is a pattern I have always tried to follow, respecting the Church’s official calendar, and the rich theology that inspired and informs it.

    Reply
  15. Jack Rakosky

    The challenge is not to balance but to integrate. While I do not have a good example for mother’s day, I have an outstanding example from more than a decade ago for father’s day occurring on Corpus Christi (transferred) I happened to be visiting my baptismal parish; the Mass become one of the most outstanding that I have ever celebrated.

    The pastor added to the challenge of integrating father’s day and Corpus Christi by replaying the first communion that had taken place earlier in May with all the challenges that brings out.

    Unlike their first communions when the children sat as a group separate from their parents, they now sat together with their parents in the front pews.

    However at the offertory they processed from their parents to form a choir that stood on the steps of the old altar behind the new altar table. They were arrayed in front of an iconostasis of paintings of the saints.

    (The Mass used one of the Children’s Eucharistic Prayers, and First Communion children led the singing for it. This is a very interesting way of emphasizing deeper participation without getting into the problem of giving each person a separate task. This is the only time in my life I have ever experienced one of these Eucharistic Prayers.

    How wonderful it would be if they were used more often, and if children from First Communion until Confirmation had the parish honor of leading the singing of the Eucharistic Prayer at these services. Perhaps a similar thing could be done with confirmation, only using one of the regular Eucharistic Prayers.

    We shouldn’t have problems with graduations, steps, “going up”, “ascensions” for they fundamental to the paschal mystery. The problem is that we graduate people from taking courses to doing nothing. They should be looking forward to the next step.)

    The pastor integrated everything in his homily by talking about his father who was in the restaurant business, who as a cook courted his mother who was a waitress by preparing her little special meals, and about the Sunday family trips when they shared a picnic meal.

    His homily prepared for the vision of the future of the church arrayed in front of its saintly past during the Eucharistic Prayer by giving a very challenging homily about Christian parenthood and the transmission of Christian life that was not limited to fathers, nor to physical parenting.

    Reply
  16. Charles Day

    Good points, all. I find it to be a common problem. But I can’t recall a time that I thought the origin of the problem was with he priest. More often, lay ministers – mostly music ministers – cannot resist the urge to include some secular holiday theme into their program. If it is a 3 day weekend – MLK birthday, President’s Day, Memorial Day, July 4th, etc., we are going to have some song, and maybe 2 or 3 to reflect that. These are all worthwhile and the root intention is fine, but it seems like it gets carried past the point of appropriate all too often.

    Reply
  17. Manuel Albino

    Perhaps introducing some elements of Mothering Sunday (the 4th Sunday of Lent) might help balance the liturgical calendar.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mothering_Sunday

    Reply
  18. Steve Millies

    Rita raises a question that troubles me, too, and Jack (#18) gets to the nub of it; the Paschal character always belongs front and center, but our instincts to observe other things while we are together as a believing community raises complications. The solutions is both/and, not either/or. But the question that remains is how to achieve both/and without placing Mothers’ Day on an equal footing with the Eucharist. I think that can be done, as Jack describes. But I think probably it demands a sort of sensitivity and artfulness we don’t find at every parish. Neither is integrating too well the answer, either, by the way. Treating Mothers’ Day as a day to talk about Mary is a little insincere–a way of retaining the liturgical character of the gathering, yes, but at the expense of acknowledging the mothers in the Sanctuary. It must seem amiss. How to integrate the Mass with secular observances without losing the proper character of both? A work of the Holy Spirit, indeed!

    Reply
  19. Dale Rodrigue

    I don’t think we are losing anything if we acknowledge moms in the homily, intercessions and blessings from the book of blessings.
    The collects, Eucharistic prayer, responses, mass propers etc are all unchanged. The Paschal Mystery is still there. Nothing amiss.

    I would even say that some moms in the pews actually look forward to being recognized especially those who are alone w/o families and the elderly, etc.
    A little bit of Love God and Love your Neighbor goes a long way, what better way to first thank God then thank Him for mothers than at Eucharist which is a celebration of “Thanksgiving”.

    Reply
  20. Dale Rodrigue

    ps, Remember moms wearing red or white carnations at Mass on mothers day? It was lovely to see and it seemed that every mom was smiling because she felt special!

    Reply
  21. James Savage

    We keep the feast–Ascension “Sunday” –with a petition in the Universal Prayer, and the Blessing of Mothers from the Book of Blessings before the Dismissal otherwise, hymns, propers, prayers and homily keep the Feast.
    This year however, the assembly and men/children’s choir sang music by women composers from 17th century to local living women composers.Ascension texts, women composers. Additionally, we have a century-long tradition of a Marion Antiphon sung at the conclusion of Mass each Sunday of May.

    Reply
  22. Jack Rakosky

    George Smiga is a local pastor, scripture scholar, writer, seminary and academic professor. For about a decade now the people of the parish have recorded and transcribed his homilies and published them on the parish website. They are now being reorganized according to the liturgical calendar on George’s new website, beginning with year C. The homily for the Ascension is not there yet, but I found two homilies for past mothers days in year C. Give them a reading and see what you think

    Trusting the Spirit of Love
    May 13, 2007
    John 14:23-29

    http://buildingontheword.org/homilies/cycle-c/c-6th-sunday-of-easter/

    Mothers are not perfect. That might seem like a rather blunt and negative way to begin a homily on Mother’s Day.

    Jesus commands us to love one another, but he is not specific on what love looks like in each situation. When it comes to loving, Jesus does not give us a blue-print, he gives us a person, the Holy Spirit. Jesus says in today’s gospel, that an advocate, the Holy Spirit, will be sent to us to teach us everything we need to know, to show us how we are to love in a flawed world.

    The Holy Spirit asks us to be realistic in loving because we are all flawed people. Therefore in loving we have to be willing to make allowances, even when other persons are not who we want them to be.

    The spirit also asks us to be brave. When we have tried over and over again to love and have not been successful, when our efforts in loving are not helpful but harmful, then the spirit asks us to speak up and to ask that things change. The spirit may even ask us to consider whether a particular relationship should come to an end.

    Jesus asks us to love one another, to be mothers and fathers, sons and daughters, friends and partners in life. But none of us is perfect and that makes loving difficult. That is why Jesus gives us his spirit to lead us and guide us. That is why we have an Advocate who leads us to be realistic and brave. Let us follow the spirit that we might love—if not easily, honestly; if not perfectly, in such a way that is real enough that we can be family and friends and community to one another.

    Reply
  23. Jack Rakosky

    The Last 24 Hours
    May 9, 2004
    John 13:31-33a,34-35

    http://buildingontheword.org/homilies/cycle-c/c-5th-sunday-of-easter/

    What if you were told that you had 24 hours to live? How would you spend those hours?

    During those terrible hours many people who were on the fatal hijacked airplane or who were isolated in the upper floors of the World Trade Center had cell phones. They used them, and we have records of those calls. The records that would break your heart. Nobody with those cell phones chose to call their financial planner. No one called the sports hotline to check on recent scores. They all called the person that meant the most to them, and they all said the same three words: “I love you.”

    Now why is it that those three words are the words that everyone says in such circumstances? Certainly it is not a matter of providing information. The people who received those calls already knew that they were loved. No, those words were spoken because in the presence of death we reach out intuitively to what is most important in our lives. What is most important thing are the relationships we have with the people who we love. Somehow saying those words makes love present, makes love tangible, gives us something to hold on to as life slips away.

    The words “I love you” are a sacrament, if you will.

    So if this is the case, does it not make sense to take what is most important and make it the foundation of our lives? This is what Jesus does in today’s gospel. In the last hours of his life he gives his disciples a new commandment. They must love one another. In order to show them how to live out that commandment, Jesus, on the night before he died, gives us two gifts: a meal and an example. The meal is the meal of the Eucharist, the feast of love, the meal in which we celebrate God’s love for us and our love for one another. The example is Jesus washing the feet of his disciples, the work of love, the action of service to the people we care for. To be a disciple of Jesus, then, is to be someone who knows the meaning of the meal and the meaning of the example. A follower of Christ knows how important it is to celebrate love and to work for love

    In both homilies mother’s day is mentioned. Both homilies seem to very appropriate to mother’s day. However they are both profoundly scriptural without being academic and both are profoundly pastoral without being limited to mothers or our relationships to mothers. The challenge of homilies is being both deeply scriptural and deeply pastoral regardless of the occasion.

    Reply
  24. Brett Williams

    Here in the Archdiocese of Durban, South Africa, we celebrated the 7th Sunday of Easter. We prayed for Mothers in the Prayers of the Faithful and they were asked to stand for a blessing after the Prayer after Communion, before the Final Blessing. A gentleman complained about the lack of mention of Our Lady. I pointed out that there are a number of Church celebrations of the Motherhood of Mary (Mother of God and Mother of Africa) which we celebrate in the Church but that Mother’s Day was a secular celebration with very little Marian links! Our focus was primarily on the celebration of the passion, death and resurrection of Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ according to the liturgy of the 7th Sunday of Easter.

    Reply
  25. John Kohanski

    My parish kept the 7th Sunday of Easter (the Sunday after the Ascension) and only mentioned Mother’s Day greetings in the service leaflet with the other announcements. After all, the time for Carnival is over, right?

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *