The internet is crackling with the shocking — and to some people delightful — news that the Pope has worn a fanon during the recent canonization Mass in St. Peter’s square. Yes, that’s right, I said a fanon. Can you believe it?!!!
Um. . . what’s a fanon, you say? Have you been living under a rock or something? Every right-minded liturgy geek knows that it’s a piece of stripey cloth that looks like a bib that Pope’s have worn since the eighth century for those occasions they want to get really fancy.
Now certain ecclesiofascists would like you to think that this is a great good thing, heralding a new age of all things holy and Catholic. Don’t be fooled. I want to be the first to go on record to say that all of us right-thinking PrayTellers know that it is more or less the Mark of the Beast, and a sign of impending Papal doom. Heck, now that they’ve brought the fanon out of retirement you might as well leave the Church before they kick you out.
And if anyone tries to tell you that it’s neither the restoration of all things in Christ nor a gold and white version of the ecclesiastical jackboot, but just a piece of cloth (albeit a slightly silly looking one). . . well, that’s just crazy talk.
Apparently news of the fanon led to the organization of a counter-demonstration in Brazil. Here’s the video.