Colbert Report: Yahweh or No Way – Altered Catholic Mass

The Colbert Report says everything that needed saying about the new translation.


  1. Is that all you’ve got, Stephen? “Consubstantial is now Istanbul” gave me a chuckle, but people keep focusing on that when there are so many worse parts of this. But maybe that’s just me.

    1. No Julia, it is not just you. Some of the heavily “Latinate ” vocabulary can be off-putting, but my huge problem is with the Latin syntax and grammar which often renders the text impossible to understand on one hearing.

    1. Your comments are consistently bad-mannered and of an ad hominem nature. If you think that that sort of approach is going to persuade one other person of the attractiveness of your position you are delusional.

      In relation to your comment about ignorant people, I’d suggest that you read it and then look into a mirror.

  2. Drat I am away for some vacation and far from my DVR. I will look forward to seeing this. Colbert is brilliant and I can only guess this piece is very funny.

    Meanwhile I wonder what percentage of the Colbert viewers are active Catholics (in the sense of “church attending”) and visa versa. I believe Colbert himself is a practicing Catholic.

    Thus far I have refrained from the 1998 EP’s but they are in my altar binder.

    QUESTION: Reading through the Penitential Rite it seems that the “I confess” is not always required depending on which form of the rite is used. Is that right? Also is it true that the “Lord Have Mercy” is only required when the form with the “I confess” is used?

    1. Not only is he a practicing Catholic, but I believe that he teaches CCD.

      By the way, thank you for your comment last Sunday that you used the new missal unchanged except for “chalice” and “for many”. Those were precisely the two things that gave me the hardest time. Had I been at your parish, I would have been much happier.

      1. Colbert is like fine rose vestments—best enjoyed twice a year. You’re right, of course, that he makes fun of everyone, but the folks being made fun of here seem to be the critics and the seat belt people.

  3. Fritz, doesn’t the second form include something like “have mercy on us Lord … For we have sinned against you” etc? I don’t have the book with me on vacation. Don’t have it memorized.

    1. They should just say that Form A and B require the Kyrie. The phrase is not that clear cut IMHO. But if you use Form B, you include the Kyrie.

    2. The (now) former translation made B almost unusable because it sounded so much like the beginning of form C. I think this might laso account for the widespread confusion as to whether the Kyrie should be used with it.

    3. I agree with FB. Forms A and B of the Penitential Act are followed by the Kyrie; Form C is not.

      The old translation of Form B, in addition to inverting the phrases of the priest and people, incorporated too much of the Kyrie where it doesn’t exist, producing a “Lord, have mercy / Lord, have mercy” call and response. No wonder there’s confusion.

  4. Simon Dodd :

    Colbert is like fine rose vestments—best enjoyed twice a year. You’re right, of course, that he makes fun of everyone, but the folks being made fun of here seem to be the critics and the seat belt people.

    Well, speak for yourself, sir. I enjoy watching him each night.

  5. This had us laughing out loud last night. I know Stephen is a catechist; I’d love to sit in on his class. He never mocks faith; only foolishness commited in the name of faith.

  6. The way I read the rubrics is that each of the three penitential options must include the Kyrie. The three options are presented in nos. 4, 5 and 6. Then No. 7 says: “The Kyrie, eleison (Lord, have mercy) invocations follow, unless they have just occurred in a formula of the Penitential Act.

  7. His backhand compliment about the need to pay attention now when praying the prayers may have some merit to it!!

    Love the bit about we’re not at Mass to take the SATs!

    His show bring a lot of smiles and laughter to my life at the end of my day. Stephen Colbert for President and Pope!!

  8. Most disappointed not to be able to watch the said report. It will not play in my area (England) :¬(

  9. Actually, there are three forms of the Penitential Act, The Confiteor(Form A) Form B Priest/Deacon-Have Mercy On Us O Lord People-For We Have Sinned Against You Priest/Deacon- Show Us Your Mercy People-And grant us your salvation. Form C is the Kyrie/Lord Have Mercy.
    For the record Chapter 7 of the USCCA(United States Catechism for Adults “The Good News God Has Sent His Son has a good explanation for the word consubstantial- the word was meant to refute the heresy of Arianism brought about by an Alexandrian priest named Anus who argued that the “Word” which became flesh was NOT God but a created being, marvelous but created nonetheless. The Council of Nicea(325), to counter this, reaffirmed the the faith of the Church that Jesus was really God “begotten not made,one substance with the Father”. Read also CCC no. 465-68, and also CCC no. 242,footnote no. 66, bottom of page 64..What did he mean, what the hell does that mean? If people were to bother to look at their catechisms, there would be no question on what the hell the word consubstantial means.
    For you and for many comes from Mt 26:27-28, MK 14:24 and Is 53: 13 and esp. Is 53:12. This just means that Jesus shed his blood on behalf of many. The word many is not meant to exclude anyone.
    The one thing that caused confusion last week was the Lord I am not worthy that you should come under my roof, but only say the word and my soul shall be healed. The objection I heard was that that new prayer was not based on the Latin translation of the liturgy. My counter to that was that is scripturally correct- the source comes from Lk 7:6-7 and Mt 8:8. Any questions you have are answered in the annotated version of the Revised Order of the Mass in the footnotes. There is no reason why any English speaking Catholic should have had this sprung up on them on the first Sunday of Advent. The teaching of the Mass parts and the catechesis should have been taking place for several weeks prior to the full implementation.

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