New edition of the Bible specifically mentions Second Amendment

CHICAGO—A new translation of the Bible released this week directly mentions the Second Amendment on eight occasions, and includes a version of Psalm 23 that begins, “The Lord is my shepherd, and the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed.” Positive early feedback praised the new edition for its clean design, readability, and beautiful rendering of proverbs that condemn the foolish ban on semiautomatic weapons for personal use. “For the Lord your God walks in the midst of your camp, to deliver you and give your enemies over to you,” Deuteronomy 23:14 reads. “Your camp shall be holy, and if that means exercising your constitutional right to purchase a firearm, then that’s your own darn business.” The leather-bound book also comes with a handsomely crafted carrying case and a fully loaded, nickel-plated Glock 17 8mm.

From The Onion.


  1. Actually even more promising is the new depressant drug for the annoyingly cheerful.,14310/

    Do watch the video. If you are occasionally cheerful that is normal, this drug is for those who have a persistently postive outlook on life.

    A clinician friend of mine says that it is really depressing to do therapy with depressed people. Nothing leads quicker to staff burnout.

    This drug could not only give our mental health professionals a happier and more balanced life treating the annoying cheerful, it would also give us a more balanced world.

    Now if we could just find a couple of drugs for the persistently liberal and the persistently conservative.

  2. If these Mad Maxes had some wits about them, they could go much further. After all, there’s a lot of archaic weaponry in the Bible. They could do something more socially useful such as adapting Psalm 91, “If you remain in the bunker of the Lord,” for soldiers in occupation zones (land mines rather than fowler’s snare, etc.), as I did for my stepson. And they could update the Lord’s reply to Peter in Luke (concerning the two AK-47’s): “That’s all we’ll need,” and be in keeping with some just war theorists who have interpreted the exchange in just that way.

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