Getting to Heaven

A man dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter meets him at the pearly gates.

St. Peter says, “Here’s how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you’ve done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in.”

“Okay” the man says, “I attended church every Sunday”

“That’s good, says St. Peter, ” that’s worth two points”

“Two points?” he says. “Well, I gave 10% of all my earnings to the church”

“Well, let’s see,” answers Peter, “that’s worth another 2 points. Did you do anything else?”

“Two points? Golly. How about this: I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans.”

“Fantastic, that’s certainly worth a point, ” he says.

“Hmmm…,” the man says, “I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart.”

“That’s wonderful,” says St. Peter, “that’s worth three points!”

“THREE POINTS!!” the man cries, “At this rate the only way I get into heaven is by the grace of God!”

“Come on in!”

–Thanks to Rev. Bosco Peters at About Liturgy.


  1. Very powerful sentiments on the grace of redemption and salvation!, Just completed an OF Funeral Mass for a young man of 35, never married, live in girl friend, three small children. Baptized and reared as Catholic, departed the sacraments and practice of the faith in late teens, got involved with alcohol and crack, highly addicted, overcame this, became physically healthy again, was hit by a car while he rode his bike two weeks ago. By rights should have been killed instantly by blunt force trauma, multiple physical injuries, closed head trauma, fracture spine, multiple broken bones, after heroic efforts he lived for 11 more days. This past Monday, his parents who are practicing Catholics but live out of state, called my associate pastor who went and anointed him. Two hours later the young man was dead. Parents feel their son was waiting for sacramental intervention, or perhaps the Lord was waiting for someone to call Him on this poor soul’s behalf, but nonetheless through the intercession of his parents, a priest was called, for the young man could not make the request himself. We all know the effects our Risen Lord brings to the comatose at the hour of dead with the Sacrament of the Anointing of the sick and the other aspects of the last rites which includes an “apostolic absolution!” Spiritual healing and forgiveness, both of which are necessary for salvation–a total and free gift for this young man at that point in his dying.
    Finally the Requiem Mass (OF, of course) finalized the prayers of Christ through the Church for this young man. 80 people in attendance, all Protestant, except for his father, mother, brother and one friend who received Holy Communion. I asked the others to make a “spiritual communion” and to recognize the Risen Lord in their lives too. Our processional was “Amazing Grace” but sang the official introit antiphon in both English and Latin for funerals after the “ashes” had been sprinkled with Holy Water at the entrance.
    For this young man and anyone who has ever been invited to the fullness of heaven by the work of Almighty God and the death and resurrection of our Savior and through intercession of the saints, living and dead, and the ministry of the Risen Lord through the Church–ONLY BY THE GRACE OF GOD, COME ON IN!

  2. Another good reminder that there is almost nothing more important for a priest to do than to attend to the sick and dying. Indeed, the rite in Pastoral Care of the Sick even compels the priest or deacon to go to the sick unless a very serious pastoral reason would prevent them. We know that reason is not a staff meeting! And carry the oil on your person…

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