A friend who shall remain nameless sent me the following liturgical greeting for the First Sunday of Advent, 2011. I thought it was very funny and hope that the readers of Pray Tell will likewise see the humor in it.
Liturgical Greeting (Monitio) for the First Sunday of Advent, 2011
May your journey,
begun on the commencement of the new liturgical year,
be a peaceful and harmonious
foreshadowing the eternal pilgrimage which we make in this life towards our heavenly home,
knowing full well that the heavenly King is the one who assists us on our journey,
and may your reading of the words “chalice” “consubstantial” and “gibbet” fill you with a renewed spirituality of liturgical transcendence,
knowing that you are assisted by the power of Latin syntax and the approval of
thus delivering us closer to masses “ad orientem”,
a foretaste of the heavenly sacrifice renewed each day through the ministrations of validly ordained and orthodox clergy,
working under the guidance of bishops, successors to the apostles and supreme teachers and liturgists in their respective dioceses,
an occasion of renewal in the true understanding of church councils,
which have often been misconstrued,
so that we may be one church gathered in obedience and submission.